Living in a Secret Volcano Base

No one ever really thinks about the practicalities of living in a volcano. Every evil genius aspires to build the ultimate volcano lair but despite the romantic attraction there are certain problems when it comes to actually living and working in one.

It would not do to have people locate my secret lair so I can’t give too many details, but nevertheless I hope to share some lessons sufficient to discourage others from burning themselves on such an arrangement.

Obviously, it’s not a real volcano unless it is active. The heat is certainly useful to provide energy to run mad science but it can make the living conditions uncomfortable. You need to consider cooling. This is an important point in favour of the island volcano.

There are certain precautions you must take though or you may not like it atoll. Desert islands require more to be imported by sea - too much traffic increases the risk of unwanted attention.

There are issues common to all volcano types. Lava can overrun your base. The ground can melt and quake underneath it. Noxious gases can be a problem, depending on your state of evil mutation.

Given these difficulties, why would you still want your base in a volcano? Some good reasons include:

• Necessary to forge unobtainium.
• Required to destroy certain gold-based artifacts.
• Good supply of sulphur compounds and other evil chemicals.
• People tend to avoid getting too close. Those who do are probably scientists so no one will miss them.
• Extremely convenient for disposing of bodies.
• Explosions and smoke will be masked by natural seismic activity and should not draw too much attention.

Let me know if you decide on the volcano option. Do you have any hints?